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PIRATE HUMOUR RULES WALL STREET – Argggg, Maties! Here’s what shell-shocked financiers are laughing at on Wall Street Friday morning in a phony Bloomberg story: Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

Posted by Gilmour Poincaree on November 23, 2008

November 21, 2008 at 11:20 AM EST

by Andreas Hippin

November 20 (Bloomberg) – The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for PIRATE ENTERPRISE UNLIMITEDransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said.

“You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything,” said Ali.

The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS’s are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody’s and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS’s.

Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: “We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster.”

Shandu added, “We don’t call ourselves pirates. We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better.”

* – CITI IN TALKS WITH SOMALI PIRATES FOR POSSIBLE CAPITAL INFUSION

* – WILL REQUIRE ALL CITI EMPLOYEES TO WEAR PATCH OVER ONE EYE

* – SOMALIAN PIRATES APPLY TO BECOME BANK TO ACCESS TARP

* – PAULSON: TARP PIRATE EQUITY IS AN `INVESTMENT,’ WILL PAY OFF

* – KASHKARI SAYS `SOMALI PIRATES ARE ‘FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND’ ‘

* – MOODY’S UPGRADE SOMALI PIRATES TO AAA

* – HUD SAYS SOMALI DHOW FORECLOSURE PROGRAM HAD `VERY LOW’ PARTICIPATION

* – SOMALI PIRATES IN DISCUSSION TO ACQUIRE CITIBANK

* – FED OFFICIALS: AGGRESSIVE EASING WOULD CUT SOMALI PIRATE RISK

* – FED AGREED OCT. 29 TO TAKE `WHATEVER STEPS’ NEEDED FOR SOMALI PIRATES

CLICK HERE FOR THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE

PUBLISHED BY ‘THE GLOBE & MAIL’ (Canada)

Posted in BANKING SYSTEM - USA, CENTRAL BANKS, ECONOMIC CONJUNCTURE, ECONOMY, FINANCIAL CRISIS - USA - 2008/2009, FINANCIAL MARKETS, HUMOR, INTERNATIONAL HUMOR, STOCK MARKETS | Leave a Comment »

MEANWHILE, DEEP IN THE ALASKAN BACKWOODS …

Posted by Gilmour Poincaree on November 12, 2008

November 7, 2008

 

Originally published on Friday, November 07, 2008

CHARGE BY DAVID HORSEY

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PUBLISHED BY ‘SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER’ (USA)

Posted in ELECTIONS 2008 - USA, HUMOR, USA, USA HUMOR | Leave a Comment »

O CÃOZINHO DO OBAMA

Posted by Gilmour Poincaree on November 10, 2008

Publicado em 10/11/2008

O CÃOZINHO DO OBAMA

CHARGE BY SINFRÔNIO

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PUBLISHED BY ‘DIÁRIO DO NORDESTE’ (Brasil)

Posted in BRASIL HUMOR, ELECTIONS 2008 - USA, FINANCIAL CRISIS - USA - 2008/2009, HUMOR, USA | Leave a Comment »

I’M GONNA STEP ON YOU

Posted by Gilmour Poincaree on November 1, 2008

I'M GONNA STEP ON YOU - by Fred Hubner

Posted in HUMOR | Leave a Comment »

LIFE IN A RECTANGLE OR THE TAUNTING LIFE OF BEING A BLOGGER

Posted by Gilmour Poincaree on November 1, 2008

 

 

 

LIFE IN A RECTANGLE OR THE TAUNTING LIFE OF BEING A BLOGGER - by Fred Hubner

Posted in HUMOR | Leave a Comment »

ENQUANTO ISSO, ROBERTO JEFFERSON CONTINUA FAZENDO DE CONTA DE QUE É HONESTO

Posted by Gilmour Poincaree on November 1, 2008

 

 

 

 

ENQUANTO ISSO, ROBERTO JEFFERSON CONTINUA FAZENDO DE CONTA DE QUE É HONESTO

 

Posted in A CORRUPÇÃO NO APARELHO DO ESTADO, BRASIL, BRASIL HUMOR, CÂMARA DOS DEPUTADOS, COMBATE À CORRUPÇÃO - BRASIL, CORRUPÇÃO - BRASIL, CORRUPÇÃO NA POLÍTICA, HUMOR, O PODER LEGISLATIVO FEDERAL, PARTIDO TRABALHISTA BRASILEIRO (PTB), PARTIDOS POLÍTICOS - BRASIL, POLÍTICA - BRASIL | Leave a Comment »